Gulshana Memetova Mother of triplets whose father ran away Country: Ukraine

A Young Mother of Triplets Awaits the Return of a Shocked Father

21-year-old Gulshana Memetova, a resident of Crimea, gave birth to triplets and is now awaiting the return of the shocked father. After the birth of the fourth set of triplets in six months in Simferopol, Gulshana became the mother of the newborns. When the news of such a large addition to the family became known, the father of the children left home and has not returned since. However, Gulshana remains undeterred as she has the support of her grandmother and ten other relatives who live under the same roof. Despite having only three rooms, the young mother does not want to return to the maternity ward – home is better! According to Gulshana, everyone fits – some sleep on the beds, some on the floor. They have become accustomed to this arrangement. Sometimes they face issues with a mentally ill uncle. When he yells loudly, the children wake up. They have started gradually heating the room as the babies get cold. By the time you finish changing diapers, they start crying again, and bathing them is practically impossible. The youngest has started coughing and sneezing, so they cannot let her get cold. Sometimes they all start crying together – that's when it becomes tough. As Gulshana narrates, her relatives are very worried and invite her to live with them until the children grow up. However, the young mother refuses, as she does not want to be a burden. After all, it is unknown whether they can endure the constant crying of the children. That is why she has decided to stay here, with her grandmother. Breastfeeding all the babies is not possible as there is not enough milk, so they have to buy porridge. Both Gulshana, her grandmother, and great-grandmother feed them – there is no other way. In general, everyone looks after the children, and even finding time to go and apply for benefits is impossible. That's how it is. The family members are most afraid of the approaching winter. And it is understandable because the conditions in which the young mother finds herself are very challenging: there is no gas supply, the kitchen and water supply are outside. They have to heat water and cook on firewood, and dry the diapers with electric heaters. According to Gulshana's mother, doctors suggested that her daughter have an abortion because they were afraid that the petite girl weighing 47 kg would not be able to carry three children. But she took the risk because if God gave her this opportunity, then everything would work out. And it did! On the eighth month, she had surgery, and three healthy children – Aysha, Nazly, and Umer – were born. No one in the family knows where the children's father – a young man from Yevpatoria – went. The couple did not officially register their relationship, but a Muslim ceremony called 'nikyah' was performed. Ayder Ismailov, the deputy mufti of the Autonomous Republic of Crimea, stated that the community should help reconcile both parties. According to Sharia law, if children are born after the 'nikyah' ceremony, the father should provide for them. Senior relatives, the imam, and witnesses present at the ceremony should gather and come up with a solution. Additionally, they have the right to seek assistance from the Spiritual Administration of Muslims of Crimea. Psychologist Irina Kilochek believes that it is too early to judge the father's actions. Perhaps he was just scared, as it is a huge responsibility. It is normal to fear responsibility. According to her, there are many ways to prepare for parenthood. For example, attending courses is quite common and many married couples do so. These courses not only provide informational preparation but also psychological support. It is necessary to understand that the father is currently in a state of shock. When the children were in the mother's womb, it was something abstract for him. But when he saw them in person, he was taken aback. He realized that his life would not only change but also become much more complicated. Perhaps the father is not yet ready for such a great responsibility. According to Irina Kilochek, it is never possible to say for sure whether a person is ready for fatherhood or not, as it is highly individual. [Photo here - sorry, no links]