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Michelle HearndenAustralian mother of many children agrees to become a surrogate mother for her son
Country:
 Australia |
Content:
- A Grandmother's Extraordinary Offer
- Selflessness and a Mother's Love
- Crowdfunding for IVF
- Overwhelmed with Gratitude
- A Devastating Loss
- Grief and the Gift of Life
- A New Hope
- Surrogacy and the Offer of a Lifetime
- A Grandmother's Perspective
- Surrogacy in Australia
A Grandmother's Extraordinary Offer
At the age of 47, Michelle Hirden, a seasoned mother of nine, made an extraordinary offer to her 27-year-old son, Dan, and his 25-year-old partner, Kaia Kuiper. When doctors advised Kaia that it was "highly inadvisable" for her to carry another pregnancy, the young couple from Wollongong, NSW, were left heartbroken. Kaia's previous pregnancy had resulted in a premature delivery, and their baby girl, Rayah, weighing a mere 620 grams, passed away five months later.
Selflessness and a Mother's Love
"As a mother of nine, I couldn't imagine not having children," Michelle declared. "Dan and his partner needed a surrogate, and I thought, 'Why not me?'" Michelle had never experienced any health issues during her pregnancies. Besides Dan, her extended brood includes Kayla, 25; Luke and Josh, 23; Blake, 22; Alisha, 19; Kaitlyn, 18; Braiden, 13; and two-year-old Braxton. She is also a grandmother to three granddaughters.
Crowdfunding for IVF
To expedite the process, Dan, a tradesman, launched a GoFundMe page in hopes of raising funds for the IVF procedure that would involve his biological mother as the surrogate. "We are living on one income, paying off the mortgage and a car loan, which doesn't leave much room for putting money away. Plus, mum is approaching 50 years old, so I thought I'd see if we can speed up the fundraising," Dan wrote.
Overwhelmed with Gratitude
Kaia, who has a daughter named Hayley from a previous relationship, was deeply moved by Michelle's offer. "I just cried," Kuiper recalled. "Michelle is an amazing, selfless person. She just said, 'I'm there.'" Unbeknownst to Kaia, she had been suffering from a life-threatening blood clotting disorder that was discovered after she struggled to conceive with Dan.
A Devastating Loss
"We tried again and again," Kuiper said. "I had four miscarriages." In April 2014, she became pregnant with Rayah. "I was pretty much in and out of hospital. I had trouble working, and my blood pressure was going up and down." Rayah was delivered via an emergency C-section after a blood clot was found in Kaia's placenta. The clot had stopped the baby's growth. She was transferred to the intensive care unit but passed away after five months.
Grief and the Gift of Life
"I woke up in the morning, and I just knew something was wrong," Kaia said. "I rushed into the hospital at two in the morning. I just knew. Rayah passed away in my arms. Dan and I were both there." The couple's subsequent days were "really, really tough." "We didn't take our baby home, but we brought her bassinet and her little clothes," Kuiper said. "The nurses gave us a little box of her stuff—her dolls and her teddies. That was the hardest, putting her things away."
A New Hope
Initially, Kaia kept Rayah's ashes in her room, unable to fathom life without her. But soon, the grieving mother discovered she was pregnant again. Ten weeks later, she miscarried. It seemed Dan and Kaia were destined to remain childless together. Then, after the miscarriage, doctors informed Kaia that it was "extremely inadvisable" for her to attempt another pregnancy due to the high risk of blood clots. "It's too dangerous for me and the baby," said Kuiper. "I feel lucky that I didn't end up dying the last time."
Surrogacy and the Offer of a Lifetime
The young couple were offered the option of surrogacy or adoption. Dan and Kaia were shocked and overjoyed when Dan's mother volunteered to carry their child. To facilitate the embryo transfer, IVF (in vitro fertilization) would be used, with Kaia's eggs and Dan's sperm. The trio was scheduled to undergo counseling to help them navigate their roles.
A Grandmother's Perspective
"If it was me, I wouldn't have any more of my own kids," said Michelle. "But for me, it's just the carrying part and the birth, and that's what I don't have a problem with." Michelle also expressed her excitement about becoming a grandmother to another grandchild.
Surrogacy in Australia
Surrogacy is strictly regulated, with each Australian state and territory having its own set of laws. The Northern Territory is the only jurisdiction that does not have surrogacy legislation in place. Independent legal advice is recommended for anyone considering a surrogacy arrangement. Australian law allows for surrogacy on an 'altruistic' basis, meaning that it is provided without any financial reward beyond the reimbursement of 'reasonable' medical expenses. Commercial agreements, where the surrogate mother is paid a fee for carrying the child, are generally prohibited in Australia.
